Saturday, October 31, 2009


The last five months I have had minimal break outs.... this week three pimples on the chin. I think it is school related. Last night was date night! Went and ate some yummy steaks and saw a movie. It was nice just being us two but the convo would generally lead to our perfect baby boy! Last night I also wore heals for the first time in at least 5 months, probably longer, I now have blisters on the bottoms of my feet! ouch! Here is a pick over at my dad's and stepmom's last night:

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Poor Self Image

My freshman year in high school I joined the cheerleading squad. The only reason why I made the team was because 12 people tried out when 10 made the squad. I couldn't tumble, dance, and my toe touches were terrible even though I practiced like my life depended on it. Needless to say I did not make the JV squad. I did not expect to make the team, only reason why I tried out was because of my "what the hell, why not" attitude I had about life.

This is a picture of my first day of ninth grade. I had been looking through old memory photos to find a picture of Freddie, our cat growing up, for a previous post. When I saw this picture I became very angry with myself. All of middle school and high school I thought I was chunky. As you can see in this photo I was not in the least bit. I remember being in the locker room after cheerleading practice thinking I am the fattest girl in here. How are all these girls sooo skinny? I work out as much as them and don't eat tons of junk. I was mad that I made myself think I was fat. I had always thought I hadn't let the photos of actresses or models get to me. I was proud of myself for that. I was in self-denial! Subconsciously, I let my peers, magazine covers and movies get to me.

I see girls in my classroom at age 10 already worried about what their figures look like, too skinny, flat chest, too much chest, too much tummy. I see them struggle to fit in with each other. There is way too much pressure on girls to look and act a certain way. Unfortunately it's other girls and women putting that pressure there. They can be mean, rude, catty, and just plain horrible to each other. I hope that in some form or another I help them feel beautiful and comfortable with themselves.

To those people that called me fat or chubby, shame on them. Looking at this picture I think it's just plain cruel to make a beautiful girl feel down on herself. Self esteem and self worth should not be related to pant size and a belly.

Now, I have the opposite problem. I have the image in my head that I am still a size 8/12. I go shopping and pick up a ton of cute stuff, not always trying it on first. When I do there is a majorly rude awakening. This baby fat is still here and being stubborn. I haven't been the greatest at controlling what I am eating but that needs to be where most of this weight loss occurs. I have no time to work out. I am already waking up at 530 am and refuse to get up any earlier. I get home at five and only have a couple precious hours to love on Andrew and breathe in that wonderful baby scent. I LOVE smelling his head. What am I suppose to do? Any readers have the solution? I don't need to by "skinny." I want to be healthy and I think that will take around 60 pounds. 25 pounds would be baby weight the other part is the chunk I got from the teachers lounge. *sigh* That is a long ways to go.

By the way the left side of my hair still folds under while the right side flips out.....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Perks of Being a Teacher

I think God helped me out today. I was informed that my cat I grew up with had reached the end. See previous post. He knew I would need some pick me ups. I have morning duty this week so I am a bit stressed in the morning with out my usual prep time. A student brought me this quilt today that he and his mom made for me. It is beautiful. The outfit above was given to us by another student in Ryan's classroom. The book was given to us today by a parent I had last year and Ryan has this year. This is only a small glimpse of the generosity we have received from parents and staff from work. Another pick me up, a parent from Ryan's classroom brought me lunch! I also got a letter from a student saying I was his "most favoritest teacher ever." Unfortunately he has only known me for 6 school days so he will probably be disappointed soon.

R.I.P Freddie Kruger

1992-2009, that's right, Freddie has been apart of my life for 17 years. I remember the day we got him. Our previous kitty, Tigger had a fatal fight with a wolf, so TJ (cant remember-1998) needed a brother. He joined our home on a Friday the Thirteenth so the name Freddie was perfect. My favorite memory was when we would make laps around the living room. Would run on top of the entertainment center, jump onto the curtain rods, down onto the recliner and sofa, back to the entertainment center. He was a great kitty!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Just Plain Tired

I have to say that the last trimester of having to get up every hour trained me well for this stage in sleep deprivation. No matter what time Andrew goes to sleep whether it be 5 pm, 7pm, or 11 pm he always wakes up in the 2am hour and 4am hour. I think only twice he has slept through the 2am feeding. Waking up 2 times a night is nothing to what I was dealing with in pregnancy. Though only 2-3 hour stretches of sleep at a time and waking up every morning at 5:30 can be a bit draining. Though I had no problem waking up this morning at 4:45 because of the adorable face I woke up too.... and the thunder was scary.

In attempt to blog more I will start keeping these short and sweet.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stuffiness Is Stressful

Stuffiness is stressful. There is nasty snot, runny snot, dry snot, and a sad little raw red nose! Is he sick? Does he have a temperature? No. So why does this little angel have to struggle breathing? Too young to know that you can breath out of your mouth, I hear him struggling through the congestion. Humidifier, check. Baby saline nose spray and the hospital ball sucker thing. What is the official name for that blue bulb snot sucker thing? I swear I think he thinks I am trying to suck his brains out. I guess this is just one of those things we are going to live with. This blue bulb snot sucker thing is the object of Sophie's new obsession. Every time I pull it out there she is ready to grab if I accidentally drop it. There have been a few times I have found it in her mouth.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Attempt #2

Anyways, Drew is doing great. He starts day care on Wednesday. Horrible, I know. I don't start until Monday but thought those few days will be a good adjustment period for the both of us. I know Drew is going to do great but the thought of being thrown into a brand new environment and a strange lady holding him without my supervision is a bit nerve raking. But I will remain confident in my decision of where Drew will spend his days without me. Really, it will be OK.

He has grown so much but I have really noticed a difference this past week. He has been interacting and playing so much. He makes these adorable sounds and half grins. It truly is amazing that Ryan and I have created such a cute boy!
1 week old
6 weeks old

I am pretty sure I will stare at his picture all day while I am at work!

Drew is growing!

On Monday I go back to work. Dumb. I need a job where I can work from home and enjoy my time with my little man. The past 7 weeks have gone by so fast. It is hard to believe. We sure have been busy. Lots of friend and family coming through town and exploring with a new born. I have probably taken him out of the house more than I should of especially during flu season, but after the hottest summer ever and being the size of a whale I have had to need to get out!

Ha, now Drew is waking up so I will have to continue this post later.

~~~ There is no more than two seconds warning before a full on screams come for food!!!!!